My spiritual journey for many years had been outward. My behavior had been modified to give the right appearance, but my heart was still empty and selfish. I enjoyed a good life and a good God. Then things started falling apart. I kept doing the "right things" and life became darker and darker. Somehow in the midst of that darkness, even though I could not feel it, I knew deep inside that a good God was in control. What I could feel was a profound, brooding silence.
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your heart, the more joy you can contain." Khalil Gibran
The silence did not lift for a long time. During that time I was searching, never doubting God's love for me, but not understanding His withdrawal. A dear friend walked that journey with me. If not for her, I would have been utterly alone.
It was during that time I began to understand that God does his best work in solitude and silence.
And pain.
Walking through this world we collect so much that is harmful to us, that hardens on our heart, like barnacles on driftwood. It takes of lot of intense scraping to get that off. When my heart was finally freed, it felt so tender.
"Good when He gives, supremely good; Nor less when He denies: Afflictions, from His sovereign hand, Are blessings in disguise." Brother Lawrence"
Embracing adversity is not an easy thing. But it is a good thing. Ask Job, Jeremiah, or Jesus. Submitting to affliction is an enlarging experience. And what a profound privilege to bear even the tiniest splinter of the cross of Christ.
"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:17
"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death..." Philippians 3:10
"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." 2 Corinthians 1:5
