For the past few days I have been attending a Renovare conference in San Antonio, Texas. The first night we were presented with an important question, what did you come here for? That question persisted in my mind as I returned to my room that night.
What did I come here for?
Actually, the question had been forming before that night as I readied myself for the trip. Why was I going? I was going because it was in San Antonio, because we have family there, because it was just a week before our annual trip to Texas, because we were richly blessed at a previously attended Renovare conference.
But this time I was going alone. The separation from my dear husband has been good, it helped me realize how much I value his presence, his wisdom. I have missed him terribly. There were many times previously in our 30something years of marriage in which that would not have been the case.
So, why did I come? I can enjoy quiet and solitude at our home outside a small town. Why fly halfway across the country to a big Texas city? Was I looking for Truth, for God, or for entertainment from Christian celebrities and bragging rights to having been at a big event?
I think I came because I felt I should, a response to an invitation from my Redeemer to meet him here. In the solitude of 2500 fellow attendees, in a big city in Texas.
My coming created an open space in my life, a space where I abstained from the presence of my family and friends, the distractions of routine things so that I could be found by God.
He's a very jealous God, you know. If we fail to take the initiative, He will create those open spaces for us in whatever way is necessary. Whatever way--a trip across country, an emotional breakdown, death, injury. Our competing loyalties are legion.
But His love for us is too great to allow us to settle for anything less than His presence. And so He creates those open spaces for us, knowing that we are too often too feeble to create them for ourselves.
"For God alone my soul waits in silence, for my hope is from Him." Psalm 62:5
